The Tubes’ four decades of excess

The Tubes celebrate their 40th Anniversary when they embark on a nine-date UK tour in August, opening at the Fleece on the 3rd. Not familiar with the band? Well, they are notorious purveyors of “quasi-pornography”, resulting in banned shows; masters of satire, skewering politicians, consumer society and politicians alike; and veterans of many a spectacularly over-the-top live extravaganza, most of which would make a Lady Gaga show look like an Enya gig.

Oh, they also make hugely catchy and entertaining music – including top three single She’s a Beauty (bolstered by an innovative video released in time to catch the first wave of MTV hits), horny wall of sound pastiche Don’t Touch Me There, and the ridiculously entertaining White Punks on Dope – wealthy manufactured nihilism given a proper shafting, predating punk by a solid year or more.

Catch the show – it’s virtually sold out but you might scrape a ticket if you’re quick, and you’ll regret not being there if you don’t pull your finger out. To whet your appetite further, here’s a mini-interview with front man Fee Waybill:

Steven Tyler did a stint as a judge on American Idol. Do you think your alter ego Quay Lewd would ever be invited on to the show? If so, how do you think that would go?

I doubt that Quay would ever be invited. He would say “fuck” within 10 seconds and the censors would have a fit!!!

Mötley Crüe made a fortune with their grubby tales of excess, when are we going to get the chance to read Quay’s story?

Quay’s story would make the Crue’s tale look like a story out of some nursery rhyme. He’s saving it for the movie!

During their time Elvis, the Stones, the Tubes, the Pistols, NWA, Lady Gaga and others have all shocked the mainstream and their fans’ parents Is there any way that a mere band can cause the same level of outrage and shock in the 21st century – especially given what can be found on the internet?

I don’t think so. I think we are too numb to what really goes on in the world every day.

In fact, should rock bands even be deliberately trying to shock anymore? If not, what is their purpose?

All the bands you list I think weren’t trying to shock but just doing what they do. Anyone really trying is probably trying to mask the fact that they can’t play.

Rock’s most voracious capitalist (of course Gene Simmons) has stated that he would like to establish a Kiss franchise whereby officially licensed tribute bands would tour the world enabling him to sit at home in his dotage raking in even more dollars. Fancy establishing a Tubes franchise?

That sounds like Gene. Possibly the greediest man on the face of the earth! I think we will pass on the franchise idea. No one can do what we do.

Building on the thought of a Tubes franchise, let’s extend the concept. Dolly Parton has Dollywood. What would a Tubes theme Park involve?

Heated kidney shaped pools with mermaids passing out sushi! Kama-sutra roller coasters with bunk beds. Roasted baby’s arms with caramel apples for everyone!

You came of age during the sixties. If you could travel back in time what message would you give to all the counter-culture icons who believed they could change the world armed only with a copy of Sgt Pepper, a tab and some flowers?

Just know what you’re doing is the right thing but for the world to realise it it will take 50 years!

America is conquering the world but rather than using the Marines or Navy Seals, it’s doing it with St*rb*cks and McD*n*lds: Discuss.

Once again it’s all about franchises! Become a barista instead of a suicide bomber. We need a KFC in Syria!

Finally, the Tubes stage act of the seventies is described by one online free encyclopaedia as “quasi-pornography”, er, what is/was quasi-pornography?

That’s where you show a lot of tits and ass to lame ass rednecks in the south! The rest of the world just thought it was provocative.

???