Ted 2

Ted 2 (15)

USA 2015  113 mins  Dir: Seth MacFarlane  Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Seth MacFarlane (voice), Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, Jessica Barth, Giovanni Ribisi

Seth MacFarlane’s western vanity project A Million Ways to Die in the West turned out to be something of a cinematic turd. But it did mark the start of a creative partnership with Amanda Seyfried, who now embraces expletive-laden stoner comedy with unexpected aplomb. Some critics have objected that MacFarlane’s follow-up to his 2012 global comedy hit is unpleasant, tasteless and wilfully politically incorrect, which one suspects is exactly what the target audience is hoping for. The plotting is certainly clunky and the quickfire gags hit-and-miss. But there’s also plenty of filthy fun to be had. This disgraceful reviewer was still chortling at Ted’s “You look like a Kardashian!” quip – best not repeated in context here – hours after the screening.

Ted 2 opens in style – no, really – with a full-scale Busby Berkeley dance routine. Then everyone’s favourite potty-mouthed soft toy opens his mouth and it’s scatological business as usual. His human chum John Bennett (Wahlberg) is now divorced, but our bong-loving ursine hero (voiced once again by MacFarlane himself) decides to tie the knot with brassy supermarket checkout girl Tami-Lynn (Barth). One year on, it’s all turned to crap as wifebeater-clad Ted and his shrill wife trade insults and missiles in a tragic scene of domestic disharmony. Naturally, Ted decides that the only way to save their marriage is to have a child. But as he’s somewhat deficient in the penis department, that means they’ll need a sperm donor. A returning Sam J. Jones – y’know, Flash Gordon – turns him down and an attempt by John and Ted to manually relieve a US sports of baby gravy ends in embarrassing failure. But when Ted and Tami-Lynn go down the adoption route, they hit a much bigger problem than Ted’s shortcomings in the trouser region. It seems that in law he’s not a person but a thing (“like garbage or a piece of shit,” John adds helpfully). So begins a noble civil rights struggle against the American legal system. “We’ll take this shit all the way up to Judge Judy if we have to!” declares John. With pothead junior lawyer Samantha L. Jackson (Seyfried) representing them, the thunder buddies are set for a courtroom battle with slick John Slattery from Mad Men over what it means to be human.

Amid all the pop culture references, cock-shaped bong jokes and showers of semen (plus Ted’s sheltering from same in a Paddington-style sou’wester), there’s actually a serious discussion about the nature of personhood. But don’t get too alarmed; MacFarlane resists the opportunity to get too meaningful on our asses. Alas, the shonky storyline runs out of steam when a tiresome sub-plot involving Giovanni Ribisi’s character from the first film intrudes, leading to an over-long Comic-Con fracas. Cameos abound, with a game Morgan Freeman inspiring Ted’s most poetic non-sweary outburst (“I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice,” he swoons), while a funny but rather pointless appearance by an intense Liam Neeson seems to be heading for a punchline but never gets there. On the plus side, the increasingly impressive Seyfried succeeds in holding her own up against the heart-warming Ted’n’John degenerate bromance that remains the franchise’s chief attraction. Oh, and if you’ve ever wondered how to ruin an improv comedy night, you’ll find the answer here.