Features / Photography
Documenting hand dryers across Bristol
“I really like them,” said the man behind the handdryers_of_bristol account when Bristol24/7’s top investigative journalists tracked him down to ask why he posts photos and pithy descriptions of hand dryers from across our city on Instagram.
“First and foremost it’s an account about hand dryers, so I’ll start there… Strictly speaking we don’t need them, and they don’t always work particularly well, but I always enjoy using one.
“And some of their designs are so cool. There’s just this crazily shaped box on the wall. I wish I had one in my home!”
is needed now More than ever
On New Year’s Eve 2024, handdryers_of_bristol posted their first photo and caption of the KW-1032 by BlowMotion at the Rose & Crown pub on Two Mile Hill Road.
Since then, a total of 18 hand dryers have been documented in cafes, pubs, shops and undisclosed top secret locations.
“You can’t help but fall for its simple macho charisma,” handdryers_of_bristol said about the KW-1032. “It’s handdryers like this one that make you believe in a better world.”
At the Fishponds Tap, praise was heaped on a Heatstore model: “Gaze upon its smooth contours and scratched chrome exterior. It’s like something from the Jetsons, a futuristic beacon sent to elevate the mundane. And add to that the extra warm air curtain provided by radiator below and you’re not just looking at a bloody good way to dry your donnies. You’re looking at an experience. Go there immediately and enjoy it.”
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The best hand dryer our dessicated afficionado ever used was at a secret location in Aztec West, “but there are so many left to try”.
“I don’t much care for Dyson as a brand because they moved a lot of their operations out of the South West, but some of their models are awesome,” he explained.
“My faves are the ones that feel like they have a personality, like a dog…
“I work with a lot of graphic designers and UX designers and they taught me to appreciate the design of everyday objects, like hand dryers.
“You can also tell a hell of a lot about somewhere by looking at its hand dryer.
“A gaff with a swanky chrome daft punk helmet is going to be very different to a place that has a knackered old box with genitalia etched into the side.”
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Our journalistic investigation will probably not merit a Pulitzer Prize nomination but we have discovered that the man behind the handdryers_of_bristol account is in his late 30s and likely lives in either Redfield or St George, or maybe Kingswood, because many of his photos are taken in establishments on Church Road.
“Bristol has so many amazing places to each and drink that I actually find it quite stressful trying to get to as many as I’d like,” he told us.
“I was talking to some friends about the best Italian place in town, and thought I could hold my own in a conversation like that, but they’re were mentioning places I’d never even heard of.”
So taking photos of hand dryers is “a way of getting myself out and about”.
He added: “I’m just a man who lives in Bristol whose wife thinks he’s lost the plot.
“One day I wanna get a Daft Punk style helmet made with lights and stuff, but it’ll be a working hand dryer and I can go round drying people’s hands.
“So you’ll recognise me from that. Just need to scrape together the cash and find a designer who’s up to the task.”
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Our torrefying exponent writes for a living (content design for a household name brand) and as a hobby (“writing novels, never published”).
“But because some tech bro douche in California decided it would be a good idea, I feel the constant threat of AI taking my job,” he said.
“And all the while it’s there churning out the most god awful shod you ever clapped eyes on and destroying the planet at the same time.
“You’ll have noticed the captions of my posts are kinda irreverent. Basically I give myself as little time as possible (60 seconds maybe?) to dash off a caption.
“It may not read well, but it sure as hell wasn’t written by a machine.
“So I guess it’s me giving the world’s tiniest middle finger to the machines that threaten our future. I feel like Bristol would approve of that vibe, overall.”
Main photo: Handdryers of Bristol / Instagram
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