Health / motherhood
Building a village for Bristol’s mums
When Leah Peploe’s son Finn was born two-years-ago, Leah felt she could not be more prepared for the world of parenting.
She had relatives and friends with younger children, she went to pre-natal classes and even babysat.
She figured she would be back to work within weeks.
But as it turns out the “reality was just so much harder,” she says.
She explains that there are so many more phases of growth and development that babies go through, all bringing unique challenges with each.
To make it more challenging, they change constantly.
Her partner then went back to work and she was alone with a newborn baby.
“It genuinely felt like I had been thrown into the hardest job in the world with zero training and no one there to give me any advice.”
She suddenly was questioning everything, what was she doing right or wrong, how to keep the baby happy and healthy, how to care for herself.
Learning how to leave the house all over again, except with a little being that could cry, scream or explode at any time.
But then she got lucky, when she met her now-friend at a pre-natal yoga class who’s son was born a couple of weeks after Finn.
One-on-one meet ups, turned into group meet ups, but it was when speaking to friends who hadn’t found their own amazing group of mums that sparked the idea for Mama Collective.
Playtime at one of the women’s house.
To gauge interest, Leah tentatively posted in the Bristol Mums Facebook group – hundreds of direct messages flooded into her inbox.
The first Whatsapp group was created and their first gathering was a brunch at a friend’s house, attracting 15 mums with babies in arms.
They became a community, one mum would be awake at 3am and open their phone to see everyone else online in their WhatsApp group – also up at 3am.
All having woken up to feed their baby, each of them trying to keep weary eyes from closing.
“It became my lifeline,” Leah says with relief.
“We held each other up through every milestone and meltdown.”
Motherhood is transformative, and finding community means mum’s like Leah are able to be themselves even when they don’t know who that is or what that looks like.
She recognises that their is “a lot of support on the NHS, especially for postnatal depression.”
But beyond a few weeks, there there isn’t enough support during that birth to parenting transition.
The mums had a joint 1st birthday.
The children all being the same age is a crucial part of the Mama Collective and Leah ensures all parents are matched to a group where they are aged within 12 weeks of one another.
This means all the children are inevitably going to be experiencing the same changes, with the mums encountering the same problems like how stop a nappy from leaking overnight, how to deal with digestive issues and sleep, whether anyone’s baby has a similar rash or where to get a child-friendly hair cut.
“There might be some tears and a bit of laughter but you’re there in solidarity and it’s so game-changing when you’re exhausted, you’ve got a baby that you’re trying to look after, you probably haven’t showered for three days.”
It’s not just advice, says Leah, she has loaned many out many things.
“If we’re on a walk and one of the babies sporadically needs a nap but you didn’t didn’t expect that and the baby is getting really upset, so you loan them the pram because your baby’s fine and they’ll go off for a walk.”
Normally if a child has a meltdown, it can feel like the end of the world but being surround by other mothers makes it feel okay.
She describes it as “shared’s motherhood.
“It’s kind of an archaic line, because no one really has a village to raise a baby around them anymore, but actually having these mums around – they are your village.”
She stresses the importance of support coming from other mothers.
There are many things she thinks are left out of the conversation about motherhood because people just “wouldn’t get it unless they’re experiencing it.
The friendships forged are for life, with some of women in the group having become some of Leah’s best friends.
Mama Collective is now launching six groups in Bristol, in age groups ranging from expecting mothers and newborns, one to two, and toddlers.
All groups are no capped at 50 to ensure the groups remain intimate and maintain a consistent dynamic.
The organisation is a non-for-proft but welcome donations to contribute to the running of the groups.
If you’re interested in joining, head to the mama-collective.com.
All photos: Mama Collective
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