Theatre / Reviews
Review: Ghosted, Alma Tavern & Theatre – ‘Stilted performances of a disappointing script’
Sadly, Ghosted, the latest offering from Naked Heart Productions is a play that swings but (mostly) misses.
Jess, played by Rebecca Daines, challenges herself to date seven men in seven days to get herself some company, though the ultimate message of the performance is lost along the way. After the first couple of dates flop, the presiding message is that modern dating sucks, etc etc, cliché, trope, conclusion: don’t date online.
But then Jess herself becomes toxic on her dates. Flippant and off colour with each one, perhaps owing to further disillusionment with the dating scene, Jess now abandons dates altogether – but leading to what exactly, I couldn’t have said.
is needed now More than ever
And I still can’t. By the end she is seemingly over the bad dates and happily dating again after a long spool of awful men and reciprocal toxicity. I can’t tell if the message is:
A) Just persevere, no matter how bad or abusive the dates become.
B) ‘The one’ doesn’t exist online, give up.
C) Find someone who accommodates your toxic behaviours.

Unfortunately, this confusion in the narrative is prevalent throughout. Scenes abruptly end, jumping from one piece of dialogue to another seemingly unrelated conversation. For the most part, the accompanying acting is unnatural and lacks fluidity. It feels as though half of the actors don’t want to be there and that they’ve only just learned their lines, not yet considering how to deliver them. Any temperance or compensation for the poor delivery with body language or theatricality is minimal to non-existent.
Daines’ performance sadly sinks like a lead balloon. Whilst she was dealt a bad hand with the script, it feels as though she has resigned herself to this. Any jokes that might have induced even a meagre chuckle are delivered half-heartedly and don’t land, bar a few heads at the front which, given their unprecedented and unprovoked stream of laughter throughout, can only rationally be explained by a familial connection.
Alex – a friend of Jess’, played by Gully – is the saving grace in Ghosted. His flair for acting is genuine and his performance is emotionally poignant, and all the more stirring considering the apparent apathy from his castmates. Perhaps their stiltedness is down to memory lapses or nerves, but in any case, the dialogue is so unnatural that one wonders if the joint writers Johnny T. Ashman, Ginnie Mallinson and Rob Marais have ever been on a real date. In this context, Gully’s ability to deliver emotionally vacuous lines and yet still move the audience is testament to his thespian prowess.
Barring this standout performance, Ghosted can’t overcome the otherwise two-dimensional delivery of a jolty narrative. In its current form, the play fails to justify its 90 minute runtime. It is ideal material for a cute production for similar hobbyist actors to see for a one night show. But is it worth charging £14 for? I’ll let you decide.
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Ghosted is at the Alma Tavern & Theatre from September 5-11 at 8pm. Tickets are available at www.tickettailor.com.
All photos: Palmquist Photography
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