Film / watershed
Review: Two Strangers Trying Not To Kill Each Other
Two Strangers Trying Not to Kill Each Other explores the complicated yet creatively rich relationship between Bronx-born photographer Joel Meyerowitz and British artist Maggie Barrett.
The married artists share a loving bond, but with Joel having over 40 photobooks to his name alongside many exhibitions, Maggie feels she’s been living in Joel’s shadow.
A brave and intimate documentary exploring their complicated yet loving and creatively rich 30-year relationship and how Joel, now 87, and Maggie, 78, are facing up to ageing, infirmity, mortality and a fame imbalance.
The observation documentary is shot over a single year, but as Maggie puts it, it so happened it was a “very intense year.”
It is as apparent as night and day that they are too very different people. Having met each other in 1990, both people had lived and ended different lives before their chapter began.
Their lives could not have started any more differently before converging.
A montage of photos of each’s life fills the screen, flitting between the two respective speakers: Maggie, Joel, Maggie, Joel.
Marriage, time in a mental hospital, marriage, Maggie runs away to Woodstock, new husband and kids, Joel wins the Guggenheim award, Maggie loses custody of her daughter Isobel, Joe releases his fifth book, Maggie’s book is rejected.
We get to see an honest portrayal of two people who have chosen to be together, but their love is not an easy one.
Throughout the film we see how one person’s disappointment and lack of fulfilment in their own life, bleeds into their relationship with another.
The film does not shy away from the ugly parts of their relationships and in a sentence Maggie sets the tone for the film: “I’m not famous, the world doesn’t come to me.”
Joel moves through life, working eight hours some day putting together new collections, hosting talks and digitising his life’s work. His purpose in life has not faltered has he has gotten older.
Even in the streets of Tuscany, their adopted home of nine years, fans continue to recognise him, lauding him with admiration and praise.
Maggie stands to the side wanders away unseen.
His work as important as ever, while hers’ goes unrecognised.
It’s is a fear we don’t recognise much in society, never mind verbalise and discuss the implication of it.
We regularly discuss the fear of not getting ‘enough’ done by certain age markers, but rarely do we ponder what it must be like to reflect on almost 80 years of life, accompanied with the reality that time has run out.
Maggie surmises it poignantly: “It’s so shocking. Are we really that close to the end? It fucking pisses me off”
It’s a theme that overwhelms many of the scenes, none more confronting that when Maggie sits among a pile of pages ripped out of her diaries. Pages filled with memories of frustration, anguish and trauma that she would rather be rid of.

Maggie is British through and through, breaking each awkward or tense moment with a typically expletive comment that dissipates the tension into laughter – photo: still from Two Strangers Trying Not To Kill Each Other
While Joel makes active approaches to quell these feelings in Maggie, she is resistant. While she never uses the words, it is clear she blames him for her lack of career success.
In their most tense, pain-filled moments, they find a way to comfort each other.
Sentimental and intimate scenes show that love is very much present. From their dance breaks that litter the film and their embrace as they share a bath, to Joels jailbreak into the hospital as Maggie receives care for a fracture.
Maggie outwardly wrestles with the thought of losing one another as death becomes more tangible, but it is Joel who’s true vulnerability comes to light when Maggie is taken to hospital.
Perfectly illustrated as Joel sits outside on a bench, the moonlight providing a dim clarity of his shape and the trees as they rustle gently.
Further driven home as it cuts to him lying in the bed of their darkly lit bedroom, he looks fragile for the first time, his bones highlighted by the night’s shadows.
It serves as interesting juxtaposition, as a man who moves confidently, energetically and assured through life.
The theme of death becomes but a bit-player in these confrontations of thoughts and feelings.
Death is confronted as pragmatic discussion of signing wills, who will have to look after who, where their ashes will be spread, how each will be remembered and for what.

Directed by Manon Ouimet and Jacob Perlmutter – artists and a couple, shooting another pair of artists and a couple – photo: Hannah Massoudi
A year of life is condensed into one hour and 40 minutes and it is certainly fully-on. While enjoyable and interesting, I conclude I won’t be rushing back to see it anytime soon.
The documentary is showing every day at Watershed until Thursday.
Main photo: Two Strangers Trying Not To Kill Each Other
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