Welcome to the world of The Alchemist (or Tha_Alchemist_ to be exact), the soon-to-be Instagram king of Stokes Croft who is managing to give the world a peek behind the scenes inside one of the street’s most notorious shops and inside the mind of a very bored shopkeeper.
The Alchemist, real name unknown, has been posting videos for over a year and has clocked up more than 700 followers. The posts were nothing out of the ordinary at first: shoes, holidays, dirty plates etc.
But roughly 12 weeks ago a new character was born. In regular pieces to camera, recorded on his mobile phone from behind the counter, The Alchemist has started routine mini video blogs edited with a comedy touch where he extols the many virtues and disadvantages of running a 24-hour shop most famous as the last place in town to buy booze.
Each blog begins with: “When a customer comes into the shop…” and ends with …”you fucking muppet” followed by an abrupt slap of the camera. And each blog has hundreds of Instagram likes.
Take this one for example: “When customers come inside a store, and don’t get their way, and be like, ‘I ain’t never coming here again’.
“Do you honestly believe that i give a fuck? Lik,e do you believe that, that hurts me, by you telling me that you’re never coming back to this shop?
“Like, this ain’t Tescos. I dont value your custom, mate. I don’t even value your life.
So, here are our top seven so far. We look forward to more: