“Peace, quiet and a friendly landlady who hands you the remote… is this World Cup utopia?”

Around the World Cup in 80 pubs – introduction

Day 1

Matches: RSA v Mexico, Uruguay v France

Pubs: The Lord Nelson, Rectory Lane, Norton-sub-Hamdon, Stoke Sub Hamdon, Somerset TA14 6SP

I start the first day of my assignment like a kid at Christmas. I feel lucky, nay, privileged to be able to enjoy this World Cup to the full, due to flexible working hours and this fan-tab-ulous commission.

Being stuck in deepest, darkest Somerset with a sore ankle, my pub options are rather limited, so I hit up Google Maps for suggestions.

The Lord Nelson in nearby Norton-sub-Hamdon is a winner from the outset. The pub is covered in England flags and a board outside promises coverage of all the matches. Excellent.

Inside, the lunch crowd are just finishing off and rushing back to work (poor things) so the other half and I find ourselves with the run of the bar. Peace, quiet and a friendly landlady who hands you the remote – is this World Cup utopia?

Yes and no because, what we have in space and comfort, the pub lacks in atmosphere. There is no food on sale after 2pm, just crisps and chocolate, and as I root for South Africa to best the Mexicans, I feel a little self-concious.

At the end of the day, an empty pub feels a bit like a graveyard and, after an initial tentative welcome, staff are nowhere to be seen. Ho hum.

Hobbling back to my lodgings for the night, the thought of heading out again for the Uruguay/France game seems a little unlikely. I decide to wait until the end of the first half – as I suspected, a toothless France are held to a nil-nil draw that is not worth leaving the sofa for.

THE VERDICT

The Lord Nelson

Are we being served? Yes, but staff are aloof and, towards the end of the first half, nowhere to be seen. 6/10

Value for money: Wine, £3.40, pint of cider, £2.50. 6/10

Food: Not served after 2pm, which was disappointing, though the menu looks good – elaborate and inventive. 4/10

Audio/visual: A big screen but not as sharp as my HD at home. Decent surround sound. 7/10

Clientele: Non-existant! 2/10

BETS WON

RSA v Mexico – I thought South Africa would best them and I wasn’t far off! – Minus £2

Uruguay v France – As predicted, a bore draw. Plus £4.46

Total winnings: £6.46 – a profit of £2.46

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