The right trousers? It’s all about legs
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Who’s wearing the trousers? Whether you’re walking tall or are attractively petite, sometimes it’s all about legs and what you dress ‘em in that earns you style points.
‘Dear Clothes Doctor,
Like Thumbelina, I feel ten foot tall. Alas, I must face up to the fact that I am in fact only 5’2″.
This in itself wouldn’t be a problem if I could stop myself buying 34″ leg trousers. I then stash them at the back of the wardrobe for six months, after which time the shops refuse to take them back.
How, oh how can I either grow six inches or find trousers that actually fit, Â yet aren’t made of orange nylon or for people born before 1940? All help will be most gratefully received!’
A tall girl crying to get out, Bath
Dear Tall-Girl-in-Spirit,
How glorious to come across someone who isn’t on a mission to lengthen their naturally not-long legs , perhaps in the manner of footie hero Peter Shilton  who, you may well not be aware, once attributed his giraffe-like proportions to regularly hanging upside down from his living room door like a demented fruit bat.
But I can quite see that you’re stifling your sartorial joi de vivre with the unfortunate acquisition of clothes designed for a different, taller species. Desist! Step away from — and here I’m conjecturing  wildly— H&M and their ilk, who bring out trews solely for giants and corresponding jumpers featuring Mr Tickle-length arms: if manufacturers can’t get to grips with using a tape measure accurately, that’s their problem.
Your dilemma, I see, is one of not wishing to trail your new skinny jeans in the puddly mire of life while tripping lightly through the tulips.
Get thee to Topshop — the website’s the most painless – to forage for treasures and order a slew of trousers measured by length (lots, excitingly, at 29in). Track down so-called ‘flood-length’ trousers — ankle-biters to you and me — too, at places like Urban Outfitters and from designers there such as Silence + Noise  which, whisper it, can sometimes look startlingly brilliant as proper long styles for the petite.
As for the nylon monstrosities, I can only advise you to stay away from M&S: you don’t sound like someone for whom Twiggy has ever been a fashion icon.
‘Dear Clothes Doctor,
Why is it so hard to find a decent pair of trousers? I have quite shapely hips, in my humble opinion, but my legs are maddeningly short and I can never find trousers that have the right combination. The ones I like are either way too long or too narrow… or both! What can I do, apart from get surgery to lengthen my pins?’
Charlotte, Westbury-on-Trym
Dear Charlotte,
What’s with all the trouser hassle this week? Firstly, could I politely request that you spare a glance at our friend with the dilemma above you?
However, I can see that you aren’t so chuffed with challenging the vertical, body-wise, so I have some special advice here, to help you — for, let’s be frank, this is what you’ve asked for — to look taller.
First, second and thirdly, take a peek at Oasis. These shops are meccas for those of ‘shapely hips’ because their wondrous designers actually make things for people who go in at the waist and then out at the troublesome area below it, then in again, all the way down, down, down to one’s ankles. And apart from mentioning that they also do a nice line in ‘petite’ lengths, their styles are, if not entirely fashion-forward, fabulously flattering.
Next — and this goes for Ms Tall-in-Spirit, too, buy a fabulous pair of trousers from somewhere like Jigsaw which aren’t too narrow and have them professionally taken up. I realise this sounds like a ridiculous faff, but having had a few nightmare-inducing run-ins with Wonderweb,that sticky tape for clothes that never, uh, sticks, then bitten the bullet and got someone to take up my laughably long but beautiful Anglomania trousers, suddenly…success! Short can be sweet, people.
‘Dear Clothes Doctor,
I am 5ft 4inch tall and a slim size 12. My problem is that I would love to wear heels, but I don’t know how much heel I should go for to go with my height. As I’ve got a wedding to go to soon it would be nice to wear something which gives me more height as I am constantly in flat shoes.’
Annabel, Montpelier
Dear Annabel,
I haven’t the foggiest notion, from your delightful letter, whether you think you’re tall or short, but I have some good advice for you, whichever way the wind’s blowing through the laces of your soon-to-be-abandoned  flat shoes.
Heels are entirely to do with playing with proportion. Three points follow, to be adhered to if you’re in the mood for enhancing your beauty with footwear of varying gradients.
How lovely to have a wedding to look forward to…perhaps you’re hoping to wear a short dress? Yes? Then ditch the stilettos — too Pretty Woman by half — and go for a pair of those brilliantly funky ankle boots being sold around every corner at the moment.
If, on the other hand — foot? –  you yearn to tower above everyone, by all means do it — but wear some stylishy sober silk trousers atop your skyscraper heels.
And if you’re planning to wear that beautiful, rose-scattered dress which falls just so to your knees, remember, absolutely above everything, that all eyes will fall hungrily upon your bare calves — so keep ‘em shapely with a mid-length heel that’s just wide enough to make your legs look as slender as two tendrilly beanpoles.
If you would like your fashion dilemma answered, please write to clothesdoctor@bristol247.com. If your question is published, you’ll get £10!
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